It's been a difficult week.
That's actually an understatement. But she can't let the full weight of it settle on her, not when she's out in public like this. So for as long as she's out here, doing some shopping, it's just been a difficult week.
She's told Baz and Simon about her situation. They'd offered to give her time off, but that wasn't what she wanted. The Gardens are one of the few places where she doesn't feel like climbing the walls. There's too much else going on, too many other things that require her attention. It's everywhere else that's the problem. Her apartment is too quiet and too empty and too immaculate; she can't even justify housework anymore because everything that could possibly need doing has already been done thrice over.
And she knows she has friends who would help her, who would be happy to provide company or distractions or whatever she needed. But that would require telling them. Repeating the story wouldn't make it any more real than it is already, but the thought of burdening anyone else with it -- and how could something this heavy not be a burden? -- turns her stomach. So much so that she's been politely deflecting the invitations she's received, rather than try to face anyone.
She'll say this for texting: it makes it easier to lie.
The thought of food rather turns her stomach, too, but she's getting groceries, anyway. Even if the chief appeal of cooking is making a mess that she would then have to tidy up, it's still a necessary chore. Her clothing is starting to hang a bit looser than it ought to, and she doesn't want to make new garments for what she knows, distantly, to be an impermanent state of affairs. So, groceries. She can do this.
[Find Greta looking terrible either at or en route to a grocery store, or on her way back to Candlewood. Closed unless we've spoken; hmu if you still want in.]
That's actually an understatement. But she can't let the full weight of it settle on her, not when she's out in public like this. So for as long as she's out here, doing some shopping, it's just been a difficult week.
She's told Baz and Simon about her situation. They'd offered to give her time off, but that wasn't what she wanted. The Gardens are one of the few places where she doesn't feel like climbing the walls. There's too much else going on, too many other things that require her attention. It's everywhere else that's the problem. Her apartment is too quiet and too empty and too immaculate; she can't even justify housework anymore because everything that could possibly need doing has already been done thrice over.
And she knows she has friends who would help her, who would be happy to provide company or distractions or whatever she needed. But that would require telling them. Repeating the story wouldn't make it any more real than it is already, but the thought of burdening anyone else with it -- and how could something this heavy not be a burden? -- turns her stomach. So much so that she's been politely deflecting the invitations she's received, rather than try to face anyone.
She'll say this for texting: it makes it easier to lie.
The thought of food rather turns her stomach, too, but she's getting groceries, anyway. Even if the chief appeal of cooking is making a mess that she would then have to tidy up, it's still a necessary chore. Her clothing is starting to hang a bit looser than it ought to, and she doesn't want to make new garments for what she knows, distantly, to be an impermanent state of affairs. So, groceries. She can do this.
[Find Greta looking terrible either at or en route to a grocery store, or on her way back to Candlewood. Closed unless we've spoken; hmu if you still want in.]
no subject
Date: 2017-06-24 04:40 pm (UTC)From:Here in Darrow, they mostly just seem to be for companionship, which is... well, it's rather reassuring, considering that's what she'd want one for. It's a little odd to think of just going and getting one and not needing to justify it.
"The apartment is rather quiet. Especially after coming from the Gardens. Which can be a relief, sometimes, but... to a point," she says, lifting her shoulders in a gentle shrug. It's too quiet, is the thing. And she knows she has friends she could visit or invite over, but it's hard not to feel like an imposition. They have their own lives to worry about, and their own joys that she doesn't want to sully with her unhappiness.
You can't impose on a pet, though. It's not as if a dog would have anywhere else to be.
"Your secret is safe with me," she adds, glancing over at Demelza with a flicker of a grin. Then, her gaze going a bit distant as she considers the possibility: "Where does one get a dog?" All the dog owners she knows had their animals before Darrow got to them, and the city was kind enough to bring their dogs along afterwards -- or even at the same time.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-24 07:33 pm (UTC)From:"I learned about them after someone threatened to take Garrick there if I didn't leash him, but they can't do that, because I have the proper license for him and I would just go get him and bring him home," she says, feeling rather smug about that. She has done her research and she's following most of the rules, even if she does know Garrick ought to be on a leash, but he hates them and he'll never wander off, so Demelza doesn't see the point.
"There are so many unwanted dogs and rather than let them run around as strays, they're brought to these shelters where people can go and adopt them and bring them home," she says. "I could show 'ee where they are if you'd like."
Perhaps not right at this very moment, not with Garrick, but any time Greta would like, Demelza will be happy to take her. Garrick needs a bit of a run, but even if she wants to go today, Demelza will take her dog home and go with Greta, all without telling Ross what they're doing, for he'll surely disapprove and roll his eyes at them.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-25 05:39 pm (UTC)From:A few weeks ago, it all would have struck her as too much bother. Now, the thought of having a specific list of things to do is a comfort. She knows she could use the distraction. Dwelling on her own sorrows isn't just depressing; it's also gone on long enough to be boring. She can almost feel herself waking up a little at the prospect of getting a dog, precisely because of how much it would entail.
"I'd like that," she decides. "Perhaps not today, though. I'd have to pick some things up, first, like food and a leash and so on. And I don't know anything about getting a license -- is it terribly complicated?" She curls her arm around Demelza's shoulders and gives her a brief squeeze. "I might pester you mercilessly about this," she adds in a good-natured warning.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-26 04:03 pm (UTC)From:So when Greta says she might be pestered mercilessly, all Demelza can do is smile, because that sounds wonderful as far as she's concerned. And Ross has long ago adjusted to her social nature and to all the friends she tends to bring home.
"Oh, not terribly complicated. I d'believe most shelters will supply you with the papers you need to fill out, but if they don't, all you do is visit City Hall and tell them you've adopted a dog and must purchase a license for him or her. Then it's only a bit of writing and a fee, of course, and they'll send you a tag your dog must wear at all times, especially when out and about. Tis the only reason at all Garrick wears a collar now and I know he's supposed to wear it at home, too, but I can't force that on him. I suppose I'd get a fine if someone were to arrive at my dog, but I tend not to worry about that."
If they give her a fine, then they'll give her a fine. She just finds it silly that the dog is supposed to wear their tag at all times. It isn't as if she always carried her ID when she moves from room to room in her own home, after all.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-27 02:50 am (UTC)From:Besides, a collar seems like a fair trade for being in a home instead of a shelter. The more she thinks about it, the more she suspects she'd end up spoiling the creature in her own way. She's rather looking forward to it, and this might be the first time in the past week that she's looked forward to anything. Or anything specific and concrete and attainable, anything more solid and less elusive than 'not feeling so awful.'
"That doesn't sound so bad." Demelza's no fool, and has been here much longer than Greta has. But they're from similar enough circumstances, and Greta likes to think that if Demelza's managed to grasp one of the more inexplicable aspects of Darrow living, there's hope that she can, too. "But leave it to Darrow to make everything about paperwork," she adds with a wry smile. "There really is no escaping it."
no subject
Date: 2017-06-27 03:23 pm (UTC)From:That's been the most difficult adjustment for her, she's found, even more difficult than vehicles or the flats in which they live now. There are times when she still feels as if everything costs far too much and yet, at the same time, as if she must be endlessly wealthy, for she's never seen such a high number when it comes to currency in her entire life. Even Ross, who had been considered terribly wealthy at a time, had never had such a sum.
It pleases her to think that George Warleggan probably had not either.
"But it isn't too terribly difficult to decipher," she says. "Even I managed and I sometimes still struggle with my letters. A friend of mine helped a little, but I imagine if I can do it, you'll have no problem at all."
no subject
Date: 2017-06-29 05:43 pm (UTC)From:This does mean she'll have to double-check her balance before she goes and spends a kingly sum on a dog. But she's been living well within her means; her stipend covers the basics, and there's the money she's making at the Gardens on top of that. So long as the shelter doesn't expect thousands of dollars from her -- and she can't imagine any dog would go for that much -- she should be fine.
"Well, and I'll have you to help me," Greta points out with a fond smile. Demelza's already been a great help to her over the past week, and whether Greta strictly needs assistance with getting a dog doesn't matter; she'd welcome it. And she can't help thinking it'd be more enjoyable for Demelza than the help she's given so far: handling the more boring chores at the Gardens and offering comfort and support whenever Greta loses her composure. She appreciates it more than she can say, but she knows it hasn't exactly been fun.
"I'll have to do some shopping, and probably a bit of reading, as well. But once I'm ready, I'd love some help picking someone out."
no subject
Date: 2017-06-30 08:18 pm (UTC)From:There's more to caring for a dog now than there had been back in Cornwall and although she knows it, has experienced it with Garrick, it still sometimes seems odd to her. She'd been instructed that she ought to buy Garrick a bed, though after she'd bought it, he had sniffed at it a few times, then flopped down on the floor beside it. Julia tends to sleep on it more often than Garrick ever does and yet it seems as if all over dogs love their beds. Demelza had come to the decision that Garrick is, like her, simply out of his time.
"You must think about what size of dog you'd like, I think," she says thoughtfully. "Though I think you also ought to be prepared to have your mind changed quite swiftly if one particular dog captures your attention."
no subject
Date: 2017-07-01 05:41 pm (UTC)From:Then again, she wouldn't want something too small, either. Any dog she gets would have to be able to withstand the affections of all the children in her life. Jordan and Saoirse are both dog savvy, and it's not as if Marvin is that big, either. But she's also seen dogs small enough to practically fit up someone's sleeve. "It ought to be large enough that you can tell it's a dog at first glance, though," she says with a wry smile. "I wouldn't want something too small to play with Garrick. Or to weather children's attention."